An acquaintance recently told me that I looked really good. I think it’s thanks to my increase in confidence and apathy for trivial matters.
Trivial matters (n, plural):
- How I look when I’m walking across a room with strangers in it
- Always being polite and bubbly and accommodating. (However, I am usually friendly and polite, just not at an anxiety-provoking level like before.)
- How I look when I eat lunch alone or walk places by myself.
- How/if I’m judged if I buy “embarrassing” items like pads or tampons or prunes (freaking love them) or things of that sort.
- Writing about said items on a public domain. We all buy them anyway- why hide it?
I harbor absolutely zero envy or admiration for a few people I used to think were super cool. Priorities and world view have shifted.
I’ve also noticed that since returning to Facebook for the school year, my posts haven’t garnered as much validation by my peers as they used to. That doesn’t make me question my sense or humor or self: instead, I think that I’m diverging from what was perhaps more typical Wes humor. Or just exposing my current sense of self more publicly. That’s very good with me.
Update 10/8/15: Today, I had many backs-and-forths with a highly regarded evolution professor and I was not intimidated. I WAS NOT INTIMIDATED! And I was able to make mistakes in front of her and talk, while the grad student next to me was timid! What a huge change! I used to be very nervous around profs, but not anymore!!!